A Post Kind of Story

What starts out as a typical Post kind of story — two Brooklynites arrested for having sex in public, motorcyclists caught doing it with their helmets on, no less! — takes a suspiciously Curb-Your-Enthusiamistic turn later in the report when the perp’s father blames it all on 9/11 (!) and the death of his mother:

A pair of motorcyclists were caught with their pants down — but their helmets still on — along a quiet Brooklyn street.

Robert Wallendorf, 45, and his fiancée Demetra Decolvenaere, 46, were spotted by a cop having sex in the median of a Shore Parkway service road, police said.

They were charged with public lewdness and nudity for the al fresco affair on Monday, near Bay 52nd Street in Gravesend.

Wallendorf was also hit with a single count of drunken driving, to which he pleaded guilty.

According to police sources, shortly after 1 a.m. Monday, Wallendorf and Decolvenaere had parked their motorcycle on the shoulder of Shore Parkway, walked across the road, and began having sex.

Officer Judy Emiliano, on routine patrol, came upon the 1981 Honda motorcycle.

She then saw Wallendorf and Decolvenaere in the median “with their buttocks exposed and their helmets still on, having sex,” said a police source.

The source said the suspects claimed they are engaged to be married. Concluding that the sex was consensual, Emiliano called for backup. Officer Diane McNamara arrived, and arrested them for public sex.

McNamara also smelled alcohol on Wallendorf’s breath, prompting the addi tional drunken-driving charge. He claimed that he was sober when he drove to the median make-out spot, but had “a few beers” once there, the source said.

Wallendorf’s father, Ted, who lives with his son on Marine Parkway, said his son has been drinking excessively since the death of his mother last week.

He added that his son, who works for the Postal Service, helped clean up Ground Zero after 9/11.

“He saw an arm and a leg there,” the father said. “That really got him drinking, but not like now. After his mother died, he got bad.”

“He got the motorcycle to forget his problems, but I don’t like it,” he said.

The man ended up paying a fine, while the public sex charges against the two were later dropped.

And why is it that it always seems to be people in their 40s who are charged with grody public sex acts? The younger and more beautiful are never charged!