Ducks Shake In Their Dumb Little Webbed Feet When Foie Gras Makers Say “It’s Time To Pump Things Up”

Foie gras proponents are really starting to sound like Bush circa May 2003:

City Council Speaker Christine Quinn has come out for foie gras, leaving anti-foie forces to focus on Fairway, which hung a banner in December boasting FAIRWAY IS FOIE GRAS CENTRAL, belittling anti–foie gras activists. Protests there are planned every weekend starting February 11. “Ain’t no yogis eating foie gras,” says yogi Russell Simmons, who will hold an April 7 anti-foie fund-raiser at Jivamukti. “It’s barbaric, it’s crazy, people are sheep. Dominion over the animals does not mean we abuse them. I sit here and watch people eat steak and eat foie gras and do stupid shit all day long. I’m really not an angry vegan, but human beings are fucking rude.”

“If it weren’t so funny, it would be sad,” says Fairway partner Steven Jenkins, who claims the “foie gras weirdos” are “doing nothing more than preying on the guilt-ridden liberals of the Upper West Side.”

Meanwhile, foie gras manufacturers are licking their fingers. “Every time they protest, sales go up,” says Michael Ginor, co-founder of Hudson Valley Foie Gras, which employs over 150 people and slaughters 6,000 ducks a week. Foie gras production is a $20 million industry in New York State. “People who eat foie gras eat foie gras. They will not stop. What they’re doing is teaching a whole new group of people to eat foie gras. I guess it’s time for me to tell my guys to go pump things up.”

Bring it on!

Earlier: The Greatest Gustatory Pleasure Of All Possibly Fleeting?