Hammer And $ickle

Manhattan real estate is irresistible — even to the most die-hard commies:

As the price of Gotham real estate climbs ever higher, the socialists who embrace the ideas of common ownership espoused by Marx and Lenin decided to stop mothballing their precious office space across the street from the Chelsea Hotel and turn it into hand-over-fist cash.

“This is Manhattan. It’s the biggest rental market in North America,” said Libero Della Piana, state chair of the state Communist Party. “We live in a capitalist society, and in order for us to play our role, we have to make money.”

Two months ago, the local hammer-and-sickle crowd opened the doors of its swanky, eight-story headquarters to yet another new tenant, Dumann Realty.

“We believe the market is great. We believe Chelsea is coming up,” said Richard Du, president of Dumann, which leases commercial and retail space in Manhattan.

And if that’s not ironic enough, know that this story can only get, uh, richer:

[Richard Du] laughed at the idea that the capitalist forces of Manhattan have forged a financial partnership with his realty company and the commies.

“I come from Vietnam,” said Du, who grew up with landmines outside his front door before leaving his homeland at age 13, unable to read or write.

“This is a free country,” Du said, “and everyone has to work together for financial freedom.”

. . .

The party, which bought the building 30 years ago, wouldn’t say how much it is raking in from tenants. But based on the latest local real-estate prices, rent for each 5,000-square-foot floor in the building could command well over $135,000 a month, considering the space is in the heart of Chelsea.

Other tenants in the building include two record companies, an art-supply store and the Sheila Kelley S Factor Striptease dance school, which features pole dancing.

Capitalism looks pretty good at the socialist headquarters, as they have been able to renovate their cramped 1970s-style office into a sleek, open-air space with environmentally friendly furniture.