Like Shooting Fish In A Barrel

New York Magazine shows how to score chick after chick after chick, and which dogs are best for it:

I’d always heard dogs are chick magnets, but I’d never gathered any direct evidence while occasionally dog-sitting Benji, a midsize mutt who doesn’t exert one gauss of magnetizing action. Then, shortly after a broken engagement left me suddenly single, a friend asked me to look after the sort of animal I have always considered useless: a quivering, rat-faced toy poodle.

Well, Hugo cannot herd sheep or scare off intruders or catch a Frisbee. But, Lord, he pulls human females.

. . .

The Hugo-Benji disparity left me with several questions: Could Hugo be topped? Would an even bigger poodle exert an even more forceful draw? Which dog is the most effective chick magnet of all?

If you’re scoring at home (insert ESPN reference here), the poodle is less successful (“‘If you see a guy with a poodle, you think he’s married,” said Allison, 23. “Plus, the dog is poofy.”), as is the case with golden retrievers and dachshunds (“purebred dogs offered good looks but little charm”). On the other end of the spectrum, Great Danes (“A few steps later I met Casey, a skinny, brown-eyed anthro major whom I wish I did not find so devastatingly attractive because she is 21 and I am barely still in my thirties”) and amputees serve the writer well:

Please do not consider sawing off a dog’s leg — but if you did, you’d improve your luck. Rudy, a mix of German shepherd, Airedale terrier, chow chow, and Rottweiler, has pretty much every scary dog in his pedigree. But sans a leg, he’s a female sympathy sponge.

Bonus Points: SportsCenter phrases . . . Inside Baseball — did Keith Olbermann rip off WFAN’s Dave Somers? Some say “yes” . . .