On Any Given Night A Most Exclusive Crowd Of 2,700 Will Dance Here, Or From Zero To Bridge And Tunnel In Less Than One Night

The Post reports a new record in a nightspot’s transition from exclusive hot spot to bridge and tunnel lameness — before it even opens:

Dancers in bikinis gyrate in two glass-enclosed showers overlooking the dance floor. The bartender juggles four bottles of liquor at once, and pours a dozen shots in glasses he cradles in his arm. Waitresses serve drinks wearing nothing more than body paint.

Welcome to New York’s wildest new nightclub: Pacha.

The size of a parking garage, Pacha New York — which opens to a select audience of celebrities and models tonight — took eight months and more than $3 million to construct. The club, across the West Side Highway from the In trepid, has four levels, including a top-floor VVIP (very, very important people) area where stars such as Diddy and Mischa Barton will survey the rabble below.

Although this is the first Pacha club to open in North America, the franchise is famous worldwide. Owner Ricardo Urgell founded the first Pacha in Spain in 1967 and his empire now includes 25 nightclubs, including one on a private island off Brazil. He also owns a hotel, a record label and a magazine.

Pacha’s most infamous dance floor is on Ibiza, an island it transformed into a tourist hotspot. That club also fueled the careers of DJs like Fatboy Slim and Erick Morillo, who, after 14 summers spinning at Pacha Ibiza, is the co-owner of the New York franchise.

Morillo says the local version will inherit the chain’s hedonism, and that its size — it has a 2,700-person capacity — will make it stand out in New York.

Meaning, it will take a crowd the size of a Rangers game to get a nice Studio 54-style velvet rope going. But investors fear not, for this has bikinis! And Doublemint Twins:

Also standing out are dancers like Jennifer Libran and Jay Gallegos, who are paid to writhe under showers while clubgoers watch from a nearby seating area. Visitors can join in if they pass the hot-or-not test with the floor staff, and are lent Pacha-branded bikinis for the occasion.

Libran and Gallegos were part of the “talent” auditioned at the club weeks ago, in which 1,500 people tried out to be waitresses alone — and 75 were chosen.

The winners include 22-year old waitresses Takinya and Cipriani Quann — formerly Doublemint twins. Now, they’re thrilled to double their customers’ pleasure with $300-plus liquor bottles.

Then of course there’s always the possibility that this will just become New York City’s biggest fresh-of-the-boat (FOB) bar:

General manager Steven Hernandez said Pacha is more a series of lounges than a traditional megaclub.

“Clubs like Sound Factory had a cold, industrial feel. That era’s gone,” he said, likening Pacha’s four floors to “festive restaurants you only see abroad.” [Emphasis added]