Working Slob’s Death Cheese Bus Stopped

A school bus driver has been arrested in Staten Island for devising an elaborate society-within-the-school-bus that enforced a Death Star-like social code:

A Staten Island school-bus driver treated his passengers like prisoners in a penal camp, deputizing pre-teen enforcers to rough up rowdy students on board and dubbing himself “The Emperor,” police charged yesterday.

Michael Cianci, 38, of Parlin, N.J., named his ride the “Death Cheese Bus” and assigned ranks to his sixth-grade charges, forcing them every day to recite a set of rules posted by his cup-holder, according to the criminal complaint.

Cianci pleaded not guilty to two counts of endangering the welfare of children for allegedly allowing his toughs to push lower-ranking kids around, put them in headlocks and — in at least one instance — slice up a kid’s jacket with scissors as punishment for horseplay.

The 12-tiered ranking system ran from “Lord (apprentice of the Emperor)” to “Sped,” a derogatory term for someone in special-education classes. Other ranks included the Star Wars-themed titles “Darth,” “Sith Warrior” and “Jaba.”

“As hereby proclaimed by Emperor Mike of the Death Cheese Bus, unit five, sector seven of the gamma system, these laws are laid down upon us to hold order and restore power,” the bizarro list of rules stated. “The penalty for breaking this code is banishment. And for a ranking of master or above, the penalty is death or severe beating.”

The list specified that the emperor was the supreme leader, accountable to no one, that all lords must obey “Lord Matt,” the Darths must obey all lords, and the masters follow the commandments of the Darths.

The wacko treatise closed with the ominous proclamation: “Mercy will not be tolerated.”

Investigators said the reign of the “Death Cheese Bus” began last Nov. 1, when two 11-year-old students at IS 34 in Tottenville told their parents about the on-board shenanigans. The parents reported it to police.

Detectives arrested Cianci at the 123rd Precinct on Wednesday. He was released yesterday on $500 bail.

“The safety of these students should not have been subject to some twisted game, at the alleged whim of this driver,” said Staten Island District Attorney Daniel Donovan.

Cianci declined to comment after his arraignment, but his family leaped to his defense.

“My son is just a big, law-abiding, working slob,” his mother said. “Whatever happened, it’s either a mistake or an irate father trying to make trouble.”