One Day, My Son, You Will Look Fondly On These Important Years

A future Frank Bruni tackles NYU Dining Hall options. Menus range from “not bad”:

Available every Friday night at Rubin, the seafood-themed dinner serves not only numerous fruitti de mer but also the enticing regular menu items offered every night.

The rustic dining hall is adorned with fishing nets and clamshells in an attempt to play up the theme. The adequately lit dining area does a fair job of creating a comfortable atmosphere. Seafood night starts at 7 p.m. and the lines are not lengthy at all — minus the batch of students hovering around the made-to-order pasta station served with red or white clam sauce. Little did they know the five-plus minute wait would only pay off with a bowl of lackluster pasta doused in an insipid, watery sauce and bottom-dollar clams.

The hand-carved herb crusted tuna — though lacking in a distinct flavor and zest — provided some hope along with a station featuring fresh shrimp station laid over ice.

. . . to “sort of bad”:

True carnivores, on the other hand, should make sure to set aside Sunday Nights for a trip to Third North for its protein-laden menu.

Upon entry, each meal swipe is granted one meal voucher redeemable for either a grilled, mass-produced peppery T-bone or an eight-ounce slice of medium-well ribeye hand-cut by the one and only Tony.

Even with the cowboy-decorated carving station and wooden bucket of potatoes strategically spread about the table, the dining service managers staring down each customer created an apprehensive atmosphere for the steak-hungry patrons.

On top of that, the service, as with most dining halls, requires that the customer utter no more than four complete sentences with the employees before a broken path of communication and confusion ensues. In retrospect, one should grab their food and sit down by utilizing the fewest possible words.