Makes Murray Head Roll Over In His Grave*

Thai Boxing, ECW Cage Matches and Greenwich Village Chess:

“It’s a rivalry of hate that keeps them going,” says Aaron Louis, [Village Chess Shop] manager. “They can’t stand each other.” But they’d always kept it on the board, until that day, according to several observers. Joe and Dick were hunkered down in battle when Dick moved his bishop and captured Joe’s pawn, and used his piece to knock Joe’s off the board. (When capturing, it’s gentlemanly form to use the hands.)

“You want me to get physical with you?” Joe asked, according to Dick.

“I’ll defend myself if I have to,” Dick replied, according to Dick.

Then Joe picked up the wooden board and rammed it into Dick’s lip. “There was blood everywhere,” says Louis. “Blood on the pieces. Blood on the board. Blood on my hands. I had to hold them both back. We even had to throw the pieces out, they were covered in so much blood.”

Before the cops arrived to take statements, Joe calmly offered to pay his $4 tab. Louis refused it. “I told him to get the fuck out.” So Joe vanished. He won’t be back. The shop’s owners have banned him for life. Dick is pressing criminal charges, and vows to sue. (Joe refused to discuss the incident.)

*Sorry, Murray, my bad.