Go Ahead, Sue Me

Tired of frivolous lawsuits? Anxious for tort reform? An easy, noncontroversial solution would be to hire more research staff at New York tabloids:

Christopher Woods was allegedly left with a painful “erection that would not subside” after he drank Boost Plus, a protein drink that comes in chocolate, vanilla and strawberry.

The lactose-free liquid — whose slogan is “Energy to Embrace Life!” — is touted by its manufacturer for its ability to “help build muscles and skin.”

But Woods is blaming the concoction for the “severe bodily injuries” he allegedly suffered after drinking the stuff on June 5, 2004.

The 29-year-old Harlem man awoke a day later with an unrelenting erection that, according to the lawsuit filed in Manhattan Supreme Court, needed to be treated with a shunt.

About a week later, Woods charged, persistent problems sent him back to the hospital, where the arteries to his penis had to be clogged through an embolization to stem the flow of blood to the organ.

The lawsuit charges that Woods suffered “pain, shock and mental anguish” as a result of a prolonged erection that kept him from being able to perform “normal activities.”