Charlton Heston Smiles From Heaven

Wow, it goes from beleaguered dog owner to full-blown Charles Bronson in just five paragraphs:

She never had a chance.

A vicious pit bull belonging to Japanese hip-hop star DJ Honda made mincemeat of a fluffy Yorkshire terrier owned by a celebrity facialist when the pooches squared off on the Lower East Side.

The brutal attack — which left the smaller dog needing her face sewn back together — is part of a pattern of bullying by the musician’s three nasty canines, residents said yesterday.

The pit bull, Boss, was walking off his leash on Orchard Street the evening of April 3 when he pounced on Christine Chin’s 12-pound pooch, Bebe.

“My pet was almost shredded to pieces,” Chin said. “I feel so bullied and so helpless. I said to my husband, ‘Should we get a gun now?'”

But unless you’re a celebrity I think it’s supposed to be kind of difficult to get permission to carry a weapon around with you.