As Long As It’s In Brooklyn, There Is Hardly Anything Marty Markowitz Won’t Support

If only Borough Presidents were about shaking up the system . . . but then there’d be no Borough Presidents:

A shadowy group calling itself Occupy Brooklyn is set to rally in Grand Army Plaza on Saturday — the first big protest in Brooklyn — and unlike many mainstream Democrats and Mayor Bloomberg, Borough President Markowitz is offering some support.

“It was only a matter of time before the . . . rallies made their way to Brooklyn,” Markowitz told us. “There is no doubt that Americans — those in the ‘99 percent’ — are hurting, and we can all agree that some of the issues being raised by these protests . . . are concerns we can all rally around.”

That’s How You Weave A Narrative!

The Daily News makes it sound like the grant money is going to fight gentrification itself:

A local Brooklyn Latino organization wants to help long-time residents take back the community before hipsters and their trendy bars and overpriced clothing stores wipe out the area’s Latino culture for good.

“When you wake up one morning and you see the corner bodega is now replaced by a fancy cafe or restaurant and you see your neighbors being pushed out because they can no longer afford the rent, all of a sudden you’ve lost your friends,” said [the] head of El Puente. “You begin to wonder, ‘Am I next?'”

El Puente (The Bridge) has landed more than $2.8 million in federal, city and private grant money for its Green Light District project to send swarms of volunteers door-to-door in the next 10 years to help Latino residents get healthier, more educated and more cultured.

. . .

Though Southside remains largely Latino, hipsters from Williamsburg are encroaching quickly.

“We want to spark the Latino community to take back their community,” [the El Puente head] said.

Housing Authority Employee Reclaims True Meaning Of “Pitchfork,” Confounding Search Engines And Hipsters

The idea of keeping a giant rat as a pet in a city where there is a rodent problem seems . . . kind of inspired, actually! Just don’t ditch it, lest it meets its untimely demise on the tong of a pitchfork:

They’re nocturnal, can grow to three feet and four pounds or more, and live seven or eight years.

Imports have been banned since 2003, when they were blamed for a monkeypox outbreak that sickened 100 people in the United States.

Dr. Paul Calle, director of zoological health at the Wildlife Conservation Society, said the Marcy Houses specimen was probably an escaped or discarded pet who decided to join the regular rat race.

Earthquake 2011: All-Important Local Angles

Queens Self-Centeredness: “Earthquake strikes Queens”.

Brooklyn Insecurity: “Earthquake: Brooklyn Probably Shook More Than Manhattan”.

Staten Island Remaining Relevant: “45 seconds of panic as quake’s tremors reach Staten Island”.

Truer Words Never Spoken

“‘Once you throw up, it’s over.'”