You Want Me Frisking That Kid Against That Wall! You Need Me Frisking That Kid Against That Wall!

As the Mayor might put it, Ray Kelly executes a “cute” rhetorical maneuver:

The defensive scowl etched into Mr. Kelly’s face dropped away as he suggested that the Council was notably at a loss to offer ideas — any ideas at all — for how to stop violence among young minority men.

“What I haven’t heard is any solution to the violence problems in these communities — people are upset about being stopped, yet what is the answer?” Mr. Kelly asked Councilwoman Melissa Mark-Viverito, who had been asking the commissioner to acknowledge that the department’s practice of street stops in minority communities left many people “feeling under siege.”

“What have you said about how do we stop this violence?” Mr. Kelly asked, asserting that violence among minority youth is “something that the government has an obligation to try to solve.”

Look, no one wants any one of the 51 city councilmembers thinking about how to stop violence — lord knows what they’ll come up with. But just because they’re morons doesn’t make it OK to stop over half a million people (actually, 684,330; if that were a city, it would be the 19th largest in the country, ahead of Baltimore, Boston, Seattle, DC, Denver and Oklahoma City) last year under god knows what pretense.

If Only Every Applebee’s Could Be Like This!

You certainly have to appreciate the rhetorical effort:

CB12 rejected the proposal after hearing the owners had presented a plan to the economic development committee in early February, which stated that the restaurant was slated to entertain 120 to 200 people with live music and DJs and remain open from 5 p.m. to 4 a.m. on weekends and 5 p.m. to 1 a.m. Monday through Thursday.

“It will be similar in style to Applebee’s,” Miguel Acosta, a restaurant representative, told the committee, referring to the national restaurant chain.

When You Lie Down With Protesters With Open-Ended Demands, You Wake Up With On-Going Protests With No Clear End

There’s some small cosmic justice in the idea that a community board that tries mightily to close bars and prevent new ones from opening, complains about fireworks and works to deny a bunch of third and fourth graders the opportunity to commemorate Manhattan’s rich history now has to roll over for some out-of-towners bent on bringing the Financial District to a standstill:

Though little was resolved at the meeting following board members’ complaints of noise, barricades and the concentration of police resources away from where they say they are needed, the meeting signaled a change in stance for the committee. Last month, the committee had passed a resolution calling on city officials and Brookfield Properties, the owner of Zuccotti Park, where the protesters are encamped, to end the “intolerable intrusion” on the area.

With the demonstrations growing stronger and apparently without end, the full community board tabled the resolution and the two sides are now talking to each other.

“The best way to solve this problem is for all of us to work together,” said Scheffe.

It’s not clear whether this demand was acceded to; can’t find follow-up reporting about it:

Requests by [. . .] organizers are sure to make the agenda. “We’d like to demand the use of tents and tarps if the rain comes,” said one spokesman.

As for the rest of us, what do we care? After all, it’s not in our backyard . . .

Snake Found . . .

. . . @BronxZoosCobra likely to be disabled soon:

The fanged fugitive was spotted coiled in a corner around 9 a.m., during one of three daily sweeps by a half-dozen zoo workers.

Using special tongs and hooks, they easily apprehended the deadly Egyptian cobra, which is now under observation.

Earlier: As If Those Reptile Exhibits Could Get Any Freakier . . .

That Camel’s Nose Is So Damn Big From All That Soda Pop There’s No Way It Could Ever Make It Under That Tent

Wow, I kind of can’t believe you can buy soda with food stamps:

Tracey Halliday, a spokeswoman for the American Beverage Association, said of the mayor’s request: “This is just another attempt by government to tell New Yorkers what they should eat and drink.”

Actually, it’s different — it’s an attempt by government to avoid paying for people to drink stuff that has no nutritional value . . . what exactly is controversial about that?