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My Open Bar Mitzvah

Brooklyn Daily reveals the scourge of “shul-hopping”:

Teenagers all over the country experiment with alcohol, but kids in Orthodox Midwood are doing it at their local synagogue.

It’s known as “shul-hopping”: boys in their early teens spend their Friday nights going from temple to temple attending Shalom Zocher parties — where men come together to celebrate a newborn boy’s birth — and get drunk on free booze.

But these teens aren’t just sipping wine: some of them have gotten so drunk at these parties that they’ve been rushed to the hospital — prompting a handful of Midwood synagogues to change their party policies when teenagers are involved.

Posted: March 22nd, 2012 | Filed under: Brooklyn, Need To Know

And Now Everyone Thinks You’re Racist

Supposedly tried-and-true tactics for avoiding jury duty — claiming you’re racist and that you never trust the cops, for example — can sometimes backfire, leading to even more jury duty, as well as public scorn in the Post:

An incensed federal judge sentenced a racist Brooklyn woman to indefinite jury duty on Tuesday after she trashed the NYPD and minorities.

“This is an outrage, and so are you!” Federal Judge Nicholas Garaufis told the woman, holding up her bile-filled juror questionnaire.

. . .

It is not unheard of for people to try to get out of jury service by making ridiculous statements concerning their views.

It was unclear Tuesday whether that was this woman’s motive.

And if it was, it didn’t work.

Indeed, the woman was going to be seeing a lot of Brooklyn Federal Court.

“She’s coming back [today], Thursday and Friday — and until the future, when I am ready to dismiss her,” Garaufis said.

Posted: April 6th, 2011 | Filed under: Brooklyn, Insert Muted Trumpet's Sad Wah-Wah Here, Need To Know

Toward A Better Jon Lovitz

Two things we learn — one, the ubiquitous leave-an-old-ticket-on-the-wiper-blade trick doesn’t work and two, traffic agents — at least anecdotally — seem to have a stick-it-to-the-man complex:

So a few weeks back, Mr. Lopez tore himself a fresh piece of packaging paper and wrote out a plea to traffic agents who might not be aware of what he called FedEx policy to leave drivers responsible for certain egregious instances of illegal parking.

The sign reads: “Fedex doesn’t pay for our tickets, we pay for our tickets, so please be considerate!”

“I’m telling you, the sign works,” Mr. Lopez said. “Most of the ticket agents are cool, and respect that we’re out here making a living. They might not have much sympathy for some big corporation, but if they know we’re paying our own tickets, some of them cut us a little slack. Other drivers I know have copied my sign.”

Posted: November 9th, 2010 | Filed under: Need To Know

The Beauty That Is The Public Fountain

A mid-July public fountain story:

Pennies from wish-makers are far from the only offerings made to these people magnets. Also tossed in are thousands of other coins, cellphones, jewelry, cameras, shoes, sandwich wrappings and the occasional dead rat.

Posted: July 18th, 2010 | Filed under: Need To Know

At Least They Had The Sense Not To Try To Replicate “The Mystery Of Al Capone’s Vault”

I wonder if this will be the last time the new regime at DEP tries to impress a jaded press corps with new technology:

Mr. Holloway stood near an open sewer manhole off Kent Avenue in Brooklyn beneath the Williamsburg Bridge. The hose from one of the trucks was lowered inside the manhole and soon began sucking. The smell from the open manhole was vaguely, almost sweetly, foul; no one odor was detectable, but the odor was there nonetheless.

The agency has placed machines equipped with sonar technology and video cameras into the darkened sewer system to help identify the clogged areas. About 40 percent of the interceptor lines have been tracked so far.

. . .

On two tables near the trucks was a sampling of sewer detritus, all of it pulled recently from a sewer interceptor in South Ozone Park in Queens. There were bricks, pieces of wood, chunks of concrete, metal spikes, a rusty spoon, a 20-ounce plastic bottle of Pepsi, a deflated football and a can of Zazz Seltzer.

No evidence of alligators could be found among the items on the tables.

It was at another open manhole, about nine miles away on East 123rd Street in Manhattan, that teenagers shoveling snow one February day in 1935 did, in fact, see one in a city sewer, or said they saw one. They pulled up a sickly, 125-pound, 8-foot alligator with some clothesline they borrowed from a nearby stove shop, only to kill it with their shovels after it snapped at one of the boys.

Posted: June 17th, 2010 | Filed under: Architecture & Infrastructure, Need To Know
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