Truer Words, Etc.: “It’s Going To Be A Symbol That Long Island City/Queens Plaza Is Open For Business”

So here’s how the “slippery slope” works . . .

When the shitty warehouse with the “iconic” Pepsi-Cola sign on top of it in Long Island City was going to be demolished about ten years ago, people clamored to save the sign because it was part of the area’s industrial past. Only a very few people wondered why anyone was giving free advertising to a corporation. This wasn’t just a dopey sign, but giant 40-foot neon along the East River in plain view of hundreds of thousands of people.

Most people got all mushy about old signage — which is understandable — people love old shit, no matter how egregiously commercial it once was.

So the sign was saved, which is like, whatever, it’s just a dumb old timey-time sign. Anything to make a really fucking ugly waterfront look a little less like Battery Park City. All well and good and whatnot.

But then something truly disgusting happened: A sleazy airplane company extorted the city for concessions to keep their company in New York, and the politicians in this dumpy borough sold out the shitty skyline in Queens Plaza to this company. Why? Because it’s part of the supposed “tradition” of shitty commercial advertising in the Manhattan-facing neighborhoods of Queens. Fuck these people:

Despite early concern from Community Board 2 members, the airline company JetBlue received unanimous approval from the City Council Monday to build a 40-foot backlit sign on top of its new headquarters in Long Island City.

“I think it’s going to be a visual reminder of the continued transformation and resurgence of the Dutch Kills/Queens Plaza area, and I think it’s going to be a symbol that Long Island City/Queens Plaza is open for business,” Councilman Jimmy Van Bramer (D-Sunnyside) said.

. . .

The 40-foot backlit sign would be shaped like the company logo in a similar fashion to the Silvercup Studios and PepsiCola signs located elsewhere in Long Island City.

Smells Like Team Spirit

That’s in case you were wondering what New York Yankees perfume smells like:

The scents do not contain hints of Cracker Jack, pine tar or Big League Chew. Jennifer Mullarkey, vice president for fragrance and product development at Cloudbreak, developed the fragrances with Firmenich, a perfume supplier. Ms. Mullarkey wanted to “create something that exudes confidence, strength and classic timelessness.”

The cologne is a “fresh wood fragrance” that “really captures a fresh, clean element on top with citrus notes and aromatic notes,” Ms. Mullarkey said, “with woodiness, earthy patchouli and aromatic suede.”

Sell Them All And Let ICANN Sort ‘Em Out

I guess cities can get Internet domains? Now we have a new timewaster:

New York City is gearing up to apply for a new Internet domain with a .nyc suffix, a move made possible by a recent decision by the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers, which oversees the Internet address system, to approve the creation of a large number of new so-called top-level domains.

Here are a few domain names I’m going to be camping on an air mattress the week before to get:

• iro.nyc
• nan.nyc/ity
• whi.nyc/ity
• Also many variations of domain names featuring subdirectories titled “unt”; use your imagination there

So does that mean that a porn site can do business with a .nyc domain? Or is “alqaeda.nyc” off limits? Who decides?

The Post adds that “businesses based in or serving the five boroughs would be able to apply for the domain,” which will be perfect for my new business helping businesses establish their .nyc domains in one of the five boroughs. Maybe I’m being silly, but I don’t see this turning out so well . . . don’t municipal governments have better things to do than help sex sites brand themselves?

Whoring Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

Queens Plaza may not be suitable for strip clubs but it’s perfect for oversize advertisements masquerading as “iconic” signage:

Despite some push back from Community Board 2 at its last monthly meeting, the airline JetBlue said it is confident the city will pass a zoning amendment to allow it to install a 40-foot sign at its new headquarters in Long Island City’s Queens Plaza.

“JetBlue is proud to be New York’s hometown airline,” said Bryan Baldwin, spokesman for JetBlue, in an e-mail. “We would like to be part of the iconic skyline of this great city.”

Baldwin said the airline’s new sign will be a back-lit version of its company logo. It will be on the top of its new headquarters at the Brewster Building, at 27-01 Queens Plaza N., where it plans to move almost 1,000 employees later this year.

“It is not a billboard-type sign and is very in keeping with Long Island City’s industrial history and other existing signs in the neighborhood, including the iconic Silvercup and PepsiCola signs,” he said.

Let’s be clear: The Silvercup and PepsiCola signs are vestigial reminders of the area’s industrial past. That they’re still there is a testament to both our culture’s gooshy sentimentalism in general and Long Island City boosters’ desire not to look like Jersey City. The JetBlue sign is strictly an advertisement. And with the people in charge bending over backwards to entice the company to stay in New York, they were obviously able to offer them something Orlando couldn’t: A big billboard that hundreds of thousands of people could see every day. Which is fine — whatever — but spare us the “iconic” approach because, frankly, the sign is ugly and the lack of a space between “Jet” and “Blue” is annoying.

Location Scout: Queens Plaza.

Whatever Puts Butts In Seats . . .

It takes creativity to foster the next generation of museumgoers:

This spring the venerable New York Historical Society’s Saturday Academy will offer a series of free courses meant to bring history alive for young people. The series, which also includes free SAT prep for students in grades 10 – 12, runs from March 10 to April 28.

In the hip-hop class, called “Hip-Hop In Context,” students will listen to pivotal songs like “Cop Killer” by Ice-T’s 1990s group Body Count [. . .]

The truly sad thing is that the heavy metal crossover of Body Count was actually pretty terrible . . .