What If You’re The One Who Gave A Drug Front A Four-Star Review On Yelp?

Would you question what you wrote on the listing? Would you start to question your foodie bona fides? Remember, if you ever think that you might be in a drug front, you’re probably in a drug front. Key tipoffs should include inattentive waitstaff, inconsistent food, the large group of menacing-looking men sitting over there the back and of course the expansive and perhaps overly generous delivery area.

Then there are the more obvious clues . . . for example, the weapons cache, as the Queens D.A. press release details (.pdf):

As part of the investigation, officers executed five court-authorized search warrants and recovered four firearms, including a defaced Colt .38 caliber revolver; a defaced sawed off Mosburg shotgun; a .380 Sig Sauer semi-automatic and a Remington 870 shotgun with a scope. Also seized were more than a kilo of cocaine; 777 glassines of heroin (more than one ounce) and two ounces of marijuana; as well as $3,520.

Pro-Eminent Domain Propaganda Or Just Another Sad Story About The Mets?

Let’s say both:

A pack of junkyard dogs is roaming the sidewalks surrounding Citi Field, menacing visitors as they exit the ballpark.

“They came at me like a locomotive,” [a Citi Field patron] said, describing her encounter this month with a 70-pound pit bull and a shepherd mix “that looked like a wolf.”

Location Scout: Citi Field.

Earthquake 2011: All-Important Local Angles

Queens Self-Centeredness: “Earthquake strikes Queens”.

Brooklyn Insecurity: “Earthquake: Brooklyn Probably Shook More Than Manhattan”.

Staten Island Remaining Relevant: “45 seconds of panic as quake’s tremors reach Staten Island”.

Misses Dash?

Queens address dashes aren’t a pain because the post office needs them (they don’t — their machines ignore them) or call center people from outside the area misunderstand you (I think they generally get what you’re trying to say) but rather because hardware stores don’t stock them:

But the real problem comes when you want to replace the dash, said [a Middle Village resident]. Recently, [she] arrived at her home and the dash was missing from her front door.

“I ran to two hardware stores and they don’t carry it anymore,” she said, noting that a Home Depot vendor saved the day when he custom-made one for her.

“If you want to buy a dash in Queens you really have to put some elbow grease into finding one,” she added.

Poster On Online Forum Finds Reason To Dispute Website’s Title

And always, always distrust men on bicycles:

Another victim, Kate S., 28, of Astoria took to the website, WhyLeaveAstoria.com, after she was groped twice in one year. She said the most recent incident occurred last week on 31st St., when the man grabbed her breast.

“He rode right up to me and grabbed me,” she said.