Everyone Looks As Graceful As A Two-Dollar Whore When They’re Sliding Head First Down A Slippery Slope

See what happens when you’re faced with considering the ramifications of really stupid laws? You’re forced to call your own daughter a slut:

Mayor Bloomberg did an about-face yesterday and refused to sign a bill to stop cabbies from carrying hookers after admitting that even his own sexily clad daughters could be mistaken for ladies of the evening.

“I still don’t understand how a taxi driver can make a decision, and I do worry that if my daughters are out there after they are at, you know, a club and they come out late at night and they’re dressed a lot more risquély — if that’s a word — than people in my generation did but still appropriate for this generation, it does put a taxi driver in a difficult position,” Hizzoner said in a rambling explanation.

And Do Panaceas Ever Work?

Strange that a guy who made so much money delivering data seems to care so little about it:

Mayor Michael Bloomberg admitted Tuesday that the skyrocketing number of NYPD stop-and-frisks has had little impact on the number of people shot in New York City.

. . .

“This is not a panacea for everything. But what is clear is that the number of murders have come down dramatically and this is one of the techniques that Ray uses,” he said.

“As he said, if you have other suggestions on how to get guns out of the hands of kids, we’d love to hear it,” Bloomberg added. “If they’re practical, we would like to adopt that.”

(Willfully ignoring data is another good reason stuff like congestion pricing never went through . . .)

April Fools’ Day (Observed)

I like that when the mayor is asked about supposed Health Department plans to ban Happy Hour — not any particular happy hour, rather all happy hours ever — he sounds like he’s reminding the Health Department that this is not happening:

“The Health Department has no plans. We told them we have no plans.”

Metro New York adds to that quote:

“The Health Department has no plans. We told them we have no plans. It is a totally fictitious, made-up story, and it’s just not what I would call responsible journalism.”

A Tale Of Two Smokes

On the one hand:

“People who choose to smoke don’t have a license to poison the air others breathe,” the mayor said at a press conference outlining the proposed rules. “Even out in the open air, second-hand smoke can be dangerous.”

On the other:

Mayor Michael Bloomberg downplayed any concerns that smoke from the fire was dangerous.

“Nobody’s living that close; the wind disperses the smoke,” said Bloomberg. “It’s a regular fire, and there’s smoke and it goes up into the air and there’s no safety hazard here.”

Look At It This Way: At Least John Liu Understands The Real Purpose Of The Comptroller’s Office, Which Is A Stepping Stone To Higher Office

Then again, people like John Liu almost make you pine for rich folks like Bloomberg:

City Controller John Liu likes to hit the fund-raising circuit in his free time, but he also powwows with campaign contributors during his work-day, the Daily News has learned.

A review of Liu’s public schedule for 2011 shows that he met with at least nine donors and moneymen while on the clock as the city’s top financial watchdog — possibly breaking election laws.