Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em

You can never be too casual with mandatory evacuations of large sections of the city when you have an entire Office of Emergency Management ready to roll:

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg ordered a mandatory evacuation — something he said the city had never done before — of coastal areas in Brooklyn; Queens, including all of the Rockaways; and Staten Island, along with Battery Park City and the financial district in Lower Manhattan and Governor’s Island. The evacuation covered 250,000 people who, he said, should get out before the storm swept in.

Seems like an odd thing upon which to stake your mayoral legacy. Mandatory evacuations? What is this, the Outer Banks? I know there’s that whole snow storm they need to atone for, but is this really necessary?

Californians Smarter In At Least One Aspect

But don’t worry, we’ll get it right the next time the once-in-a-100-years event happens:

Kelly Huston, assistant secretary of the California Emergency Management Agency, said that watching New Yorkers evacuate on television was “unsettling.”

“If you think about it, the plate-glass windows above them have a potential for shattering,” Mr. Huston said in a telephone interview on Wednesday. “That glass has to go somewhere. And it’ll hit people trying to come out of a building.”

What New Yorkers should do, he said, is what Californians are told to do: drop under “anything sturdy” and “brace yourself until the shaking stops.”

That so many New Yorkers did not seem to know what to do should not be that surprising given the e-mail that arrived at Mr. Huston’s home early Wednesday.

New York City officials wanted a conference call because they needed advice on what earthquake instructions they should give the public the next time.

Earthquake 2011: All-Important Local Angles

Queens Self-Centeredness: “Earthquake strikes Queens”.

Brooklyn Insecurity: “Earthquake: Brooklyn Probably Shook More Than Manhattan”.

Staten Island Remaining Relevant: “45 seconds of panic as quake’s tremors reach Staten Island”.

Yeah? You Try Working A Thousand Feet In The Air On The World’s Most Attractive Terrorist Target Without A Little Liquid Courage . . .

I mean, of course drinking on the job is a serious no-no, but have you seen how high that thing is already? Cut the men some slack here:

The Post spotted two dozen workers stream north from the site each day at about 11:45 a.m. and pack two Murray Street watering holes for their hourlong lunch breaks — the same pub pilgrimage hardhats were making two years ago from Ground Zero.

Once again, many skipped food entirely in favor of liquid refreshments — including bottles of beer, shots of whiskey and — in the case of one wasted worker — a pint glass nearly full of vodka.

Just So You Know As You Take The Bus Through The Lincoln Tunnel Into The Port Authority Before Heading Up To The Yankees Game . . .

. . . it’s all probably just fine:

A major testing lab and its top execs have been indicted on charges they faked concrete-strength tests at hundreds of city building sites, including Yankee Stadium and the Lincoln Tunnel.

Officials of American Standard Testing and Consulting Laboratories Inc. “regularly skipped vital safety tests and created false reports to create the impression that the tests were performed,” an indictment unsealed in Manhattan Supreme Court yesterday charged.

Prosecutors said projects involved in the 12-year scam also included Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, the Javits Center, the Port Authority Bus Terminal and the control tower at LaGuardia Airport.