And Then We Trapped Each Other Like Bears, And The Likenesses Of Our Fallen Workout Partners Were Broadcast In The Skies After The Sun Set

The new Hunger Games-themed workout at NYSC:

“The Hunger Games” heroine Katniss Everdeen (played by Jennifer Lawrence) makes shooting arrows look like child’s play in trailers for the dystopian flick opening Friday.

But after struggling with a plastic bow in the New York Sports Club workout inspired by Suzanne Collins’ bestselling books, my arms are quivering.

The free “Train Like a Tribute” class launching March 27 gives participants a taste of what entering the deadly Hunger Games arena would be like.

If Goober had a Tumblr he would probably say, “I guess this is better for one’s health than the class I’m taking at Great Jones Cafe, ‘Eat Like an Autist: The Diet of Ignatius J. Reilly.'”

Naked Man Has Cheap Rent

Daily Intel is wrong — the coolest part about the New York Post article about the cheapest rent-controlled apartments in the city isn’t the gay marriage angle but rather that one of the two guys profiled, who only pays $71.23 a month for a 500-square-foot one-bedroom apartment in SoHo, can make his monthly rent from less than four hours of nude modeling:

[The 87-year-old retired military meteorologist], a published poet who was friends with William Carlos Williams, currently lives off an Air Force pension of $1,100 a month, according to court papers.

And he told The Post he earns extra money as a nude model for painting students, earning $18.50 an hour.

“They tell me I’m so good at it, I feel I have a duty to do it,” he said. “I have an interesting face.”

One-Hundred Twenty-Three Thousand Five Hundred And Six Dollars In Tolls Is A Great Way To Measure An Addiction

Addiction makes you do some crazy things. The son who used his mother’s car to buy drugs, for example, never once paying a toll along the way:

The cash-strapped Port Authority slapped 20 habitual toll evaders with lawsuits yesterday, part of a new crackdown aimed at recouping millions in lost revenue from deadbeat motorists.

. . .

The list of the lead-footed drivers includes [. . .] a mother-and-son duo from Englewood, NJ.

[The son], 52, previously admitted to The Post that he used his 75-year-old mom’s Ford Focus for drug-buying missions into Manhattan.

During those trips, he racked up more than $120,000 in unpaid tolls and fees.

“When you’re addicted like that, you don’t think of the consequences. You have other things on your mind,” he told The Post.

He claims he is in recovery.

His mother, meanwhile, is furious she’s been hit with the hefty toll bill.

“If I could have killed him and gotten away with it, I would have,” said [the mother], a retired data processor.

Let’s tease this out: The toll for the George Washington Bridge — I’m assuming if he’s coming from Englewood, he’s using the GWB — is — and we’ll be conservative and use the peak number — $9.50. The exact figure, $123,506 (from this article), divided by $9.50, is . . . I actually don’t believe this number . . . 13,000. Now they only collect tolls heading eastbound into New York, so that is 13,000 trips to buy drugs. Yup, that sounds like an addiction to me.

Of course the moral of the story is to always buy local.

Truth And Reconciliation At The TLC

Because there were so many cab drivers cheating people, the Taxi & Limousine Commission can only focus on a few of the worst:

It was one of the biggest scandals in the taxi industry’s history, but nearly 90 percent of the 21,819 cabbies accused of ripping off passengers with inflated fares will get off scot-free, The Post has learned.

. . .

One source conceded that the sheer volume of cases made it “administratively unwieldy” to bring charges against every alleged culprit.

The Latest In Public Relations Jujitsu: Quipping And Punning Your Way Out Of The Question

And the Bloomberg administration becomes relevant again:

A New York tradition more than three decades old ended yesterday when the Health Department declared that starting next year, Sardi’s restaurant can no longer invite the winner of the Westminster Dog Show to a special dinner.

. . .

“We can’t be expected to just roll over for the champ. Our primary concern is making sure people and pets follow the doggone rules — ideally without whining or begging,” quipped city Health Department spokesman John Kelly.