Ashes To Ashes To The Heads Of Possibly Thousands Of Unsuspecting IRT Passengers

Yikes . . . it’s not like it’s a remote mountain top, outer space or even the East River — on a typical Saturday (you can see for yourself), well over 100,000 people use that subway station you just dumped human ashes into:

Friends and family of the Portuguese journalist who was castrated in a Times Square hotel dumped his ashes down a subway grate Saturday just steps away from the scene of his gruesome murder.

. . .

Some of the ashes scattered into the wind at “The Crossroads of the World.”

Location Scout: Times Square Subway Station.

He Still Has A Long Way To Go Before We Have Coca-Cola Flowing Out Of The City’s Fountains . . .

. . . but that doesn’t mean a mayor can’t dream, or at least see himself as the very reason that God made mayors:

Mayor Bloomberg’s ego got the best of him Sunday when he confessed he wants to be remembered as “the greatest mayor ever.”

The confession from Hizzoner, who usually says he hopes his eventual successor will do a better job than he has done, came as he once again denied any interest in [redacted so as not to play into any headline- or attention-grabbing ulterior motive].

“I’ve got a great job. I want to go out being, having a reputation as a very good, maybe the greatest mayor ever,” he said on NBC’s “Meet the Press.”

Short of that, we’ll always treasure him as the greatest food additive-banning, third term-stealing, subway-to-nowhere building, congestion pricing-dreaming, lawn furniture-on-Broadway-placing mayor — maybe of all time.

Now That That’s Over, You Can “Get To Know” Cathie Black

The three ABC 7 interviews of Cathie Black are kind of scary in the way that the Sarah Palin interviews exposed the Vice Presidential candidate as a fundamentally decent communicator of vacuous thoughts and superficial platitudes. Watch them and see if you feel confident that she’s prepared to negotiate a new labor contract, tackle the lingering teacher tenure “issue” (sounds like the issue was lifted from Newsweek or Time, circa 1987 — teacher tenure isn’t troubling if you have a good evaluation system, which she barely mentions) or designing an innovative curriculum.

In a way, the interviews almost do more harm than good.

The first one: Platitudes like “We’re all human beings,” “It’s about the people” and “I am a proven manager.”

The second one: You’re reminded that she has no experience with labor unions — and the stuff about teacher tenure just exposes how superficial her understanding of the issue is — “We feel very strongly about teacher evaluations.” And . . . ? “I don’t agree with last in-first out” — it all sounds like pablum, not unlike what Sarah Palin sounded like with Katie Couric. Regarding changing teacher tenure, “We have to make sure that the union is in agreement that it’s really ‘children first’ . . . if ‘children first’ is really at the heart of what a teacher should be doing, there should be ways that we can work at this.” And “Give me a chance — I will listen . . . get to know me — don’t judge someone that you’ve never met.”

The third one: “Let’s move forward.” On the reconfigured standardized tests and new “corrected” higher standards “Individuals have seen their scores come down but we will get them back up again because we’ve got to motivate them” (pitch-perfect Palinistic circular MTV logic). “We have to make sure that the curriculum is strong enough, is innovative enough, is smart enough to prepare these children for a very different work force” — And . . . ? And don’t shut her out because you haven’t met her — “Give me a chance — I want to listen to them [parents].”

If you’re still curious about this issue, it’s kind of shocking to hear how superficial she sounds. I expect a Vice President, or even a legislator, to have a “fresh perspective” — they represent voters, so in some ways I think it’s OK to have them be more uninformed — but to have such a “fresh perspective” for a position designed for an education professional? It’s bizarre, cynical and ultimately discouraging.

It’s Actually Worse Than The Worst Cover Letter You Ever Wrote For A Job That You Were In No Way Qualified For, Except That You Were 22 And Just Out Of School And This Guy Wants This Person To Lead The Largest School System In The Country

Wow, I was kidding when I said that it was impressive that she launched Food Network Magazine. Actually, they’re serious, providing the State Department of Education with the best argument for becoming chancellor of New York City schools ever:

The City’s next schools chancellor will inherit an organization that has an impressive track record of success, yet is still far from satisfied with the status quo. As President and then Chairman of the iconic Hearst Magazines during a time of great chance in the media world, Ms. Black spearheaded innovative strategies that produced record-breaking years for Hearst. Leading a team in producing 14 U.S. titles and nearly 200 international editions in more than 100 countries, she was responsible for the management of corporate, personnel and financial matters for Hearst magazines. Under her leadership, Hearst’s portfolio expanded to include the launch of O, The Oprah Magazine, widely regarded as the most successful magazine launch in U.S. history, and most recently, the launch of Food Network Magazine, which has already soared to a circulation of 1.4 million.

If By “Story Line” They Mean Unilaterally Appointing Someone Without Any Discernable Qualifications To Run The Largest School System In The Country And Not Bothering To Talk It Over With Anyone At All, Much Less The Key Stakeholders And Much Much Less The Constituents He Serves, Then I Think That Story Line Is Clear

Because I’m not sure what the other “story line” is . . . or maybe the “story line” is that the third term has gone to his head:

The uproar has frustrated City Hall aides, who feel as if they have lost control of the story line and who are looking for ways to beat back accusations that Ms. Black is unqualified, said an individual close to the process who requested anonymity for fear of upsetting the mayor.

Then there’s the old “financial peril” argument, which you’ll remember was the reason we’re in this third term in the first place. Nice to see that trope resurrected — I think we were all fatigued by “terrorism” and it’s important to find another ostensible reason to gin up a crisis:

To take office, Ms. Black, the chairwoman of Hearst Magazines, needs a waiver from the state to bypass rules requiring the chancellor to hold specific education credentials. Mr. Bloomberg plans to submit a letter to the state this week arguing that Ms. Black’s business acumen is needed in a time of financial peril.

The letter will be made public in an effort to dispel some of the unflattering depictions.

Mr. Bloomberg said Monday that he was confident the controversy would die down and that Ms. Black would receive a waiver. “This is a woman who is eminently qualified,” he said at a news conference.

1) “Business acumen” — yes, of course! — anyone who dramatically exceeds expectations with Food Network Magazine is, to use the mayor’s language, “eminently qualified” to continue the excellence that is the New York City school system.

2) “The letter will be made public” — how magnanimous of the mayor to allow for this crucial bit of transparency — see, he’s not so secretive!

3) “Eminently qualified” — note: not just “qualified,” but “eminently” so. Watch out for people who overuse exuberant adverbs; they’re usually bullshitting you.