You Need A Chicken Salad Recipe

Because what else are you going to do with shitty chicken? I am very susceptible to top Google rankings, and especially Alton Brown, and I’m pleased to report that this Food Network recipe worked well. Of course the recipe wasn’t “poached” chicken, because that would defeat the purpose of reusing “old” chicken, and this time of year precludes fresh herbs, not that we were successful last year with dill anyway. Also, “homemade mayonnaise”? Seriously? What’s wrong with Duke’s?

Asparagus side dish from the other Internet behemoth. I’m sure those eggs and chives would have been great, but unfortunately I succumb to what I believe may be a hardwired repulsion to combining a chicken and its eggs in a single meal. I will be happy to overlook mayo on a chicken sandwich, obviously. So what do you want?