Tattoo
Pet Names
Reissue (Song About the Idea of Getting Back Together)
Song for Getting Stood up in Front of a Dance Club
Thanksgiving Song
Arizona Rock Products Association
Fortune Cookie
Things You Sing to a Urinal
Song for Carpetbaggers Come and Gone
Radio Reception Area

Tattoo

download .mp3 (3:36)
When you and I broke up
We dated people who were more fucked up
More fucked up than even we
Than even we were when were seventeen

When we broke up when we broke up
We both dated people who were more fucked up
Who were more fucked up
Than even we

We both dated people with tattoos
Even though we both hate tattoos
We dated people who smoked a lot of pot
Even though we don't smoke pot

And we don't smoke pot, we don't smoke pot, we
Don't smoke pot, we don't smoke pot
And of course we tried to smoke some pot even though we both hate,
We both hate pot, but we both stopped just short of getting a tattoo

When you and I broke up
We both found someone who could prop us up
People to tell us we are beautiful people
And that our exes are purely evil

When we broke up when we broke up
We both found us chumps to prop us up to tell us
Everything in the end turns out perfectly
And that is why the good lord has sent you to me
And you're a beautiful person, you're a beautiful person
Even though you are damaged though you're probably no worse than
I'm a beautiful person I'm a beautiful person
Even though I'm unavailable and my future's uncertain
And we don't smoke pot, we don't smoke pot
We don't smoke pot, we don't smoke pot
And we don't smoke pot

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Pet Names

download .mp3 (2:52)
I already almost forgot your given name
Sometimes they're hard to remember, often easy to replace
So is it too early to think of it
When it's blowing up in your consciousness like a first kiss?

And I already figured out our pet names

And just like that you're addicted to and so obsessed with it
Like things you tell your therapist
And I feel so fucking crazy tonight
So fucking in love again another time

And I already figured out our pet names

I feel it all slipping away, was it the pet name?
I feel it already slipping away, was it your pet name?

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Reissue (Song About the Idea of Getting Back Together)

download .mp3 (4:14)
There are stupid things I've recently heard
And stupid things I'll admit I listen to
And stupid things I've actually paid money to see
And stupid things I pay attention to

To think we spent an entire decade
Just playing with each other's hair
While the turntable was playing
Our favorite no-name band from I forget where

Being cavalier with time at the time
Seemed an appropriate thing to do

Nothing says I'm desperate and lonely
Like a call from out of the blue
And I never could write you love songs
But now I've got love songs up the wazoo

I can't say it'd be any different
But I'm drawn back to you

You used to be my favorite record
Now you're a brilliant reissue

I can't say it sounds different
But it draws me back to you

New liner notes and bonus tracks, remastered sound
It's the soundtrack to the decade that I still want around

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Song for Getting Stood Up in Front of a Dance Club

download .mp3 (5:15)
Young people drinking beer
What did they have to forget to have fun in here?
What kind of jobs did they have to get to afford it here?
Young people drinking beer

Young people drinking beer
Why did you ask to meet me down here?
What did you expect to find down here?
Young people drinking beer

You probably smoked so much dope that you slept through the stop on the train
And now I'm humming "That's How I Escaped My Certain Fate"
And all I can think about now is 1982, 1983
And staying awake on the N train back to Queens

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Thanksgiving Song

download .mp3 (3:20)
You spent a nice night out getting half drunk
With people you hardly know
And that's something to be thankful for
At least you've got friends for show

I know that some folks live life feeling miserable like this

You break into your apartment at half-past nine
And start staring at the walls
At the store-bought art
It's like pornography on the walls

I know that some folks live life desensitized like this

You belong you belong
Just keep telling yourself you belong
You belong you belong
Maybe you should go back where you belong

But you've come too far this year to let a holiday defeat you like this

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Arizona Rock Products Association

download .mp3 (3:37)
Everything's silent and nothing is fun
In your hometown with your hair undone
At your parents' house resting quietly
Nothing to do but watch cable TV thinking

That's why you canceled your membership from
The Arizona Rock Products Association

My mind's so active and I can't sleep
And I'm stuck with the image of Bruce Springsteen
Singing about his bad desires
Little girls, their daddies and being on fire

And when he wakes up with the sheets soaking wet
You wonder what the fuck he meant by that

There are things you regret, things you run away from
Disappointments in life you think you'll never overcome
And keep telling yourself that nothing here has changed
As you pray to the gods of carpetbaggers come and gone away

That's why you canceled your membership from
The Arizona Rock Products Association

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Fortune Cookie

download .mp3 (2:38)
I was playing games counting
Cell phones on the subway
One point if they're talking
Two if they're in hand

Was it fate to see you again tonight
Or coincidence that it happened twice?

You say "Why can't I find one
One a city of ten million?
Will I have to go to Ciudad de Mexico
New Delhi, Beijing, Tokyo?"

And you say "How come I can't feel love
How come I can't feel it anymore?"

Listen to your heart,
Not what the fortune cookie says
Show me who you are
Not just some carpetbaggers' lament.

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Things You Sing to a Urinal

download .mp3 (1:55)
When I heard you and she were engaged
I found out at the bar
I smiled a smile no one could fake
So pleased with it all

You'll enjoy her family and their cult religion,
Her mother's manipulation and her dad's alcoholism
You deserve that, you deserve the best
Enjoy, enjoy it all

Men will get married for terrible reasons
It's men who make the call
You were on the prowl for a childbearer
Not overweight or too tall

You have a house and abs of steel
Two cars, belief in God and a career in sales
She deserves that, She deserves the best
Enjoy, enjoy it all

It's only really a matter of weeks before you really know someone
That sounds great but I've got to believe that I'm the healthier one

So enjoy her bad habits, her mannerisms
Her manipulation, her alcoholism
You deserve that, you deserve the best
Enjoy, enjoy it all

There are things you sing to a urinal
That prove that you're OK
There are things you sing to a urinal

No one can take away
There are things you sing to a urinal
That make it feel alright
There are things you sing to a urinal
And this is the last urinal song I'll ever write

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Song for Carpetbaggers Come and Gone

download .mp3 (2:52)
Sick of the theme bars on Avenue A
Tired of them I need to get away I need to get away right away
Ten dollar cover and nine buck drinks
This is nothing like the dives that we're used to in Queens

You gotta get the fuck out of this town

"I just got here," he said to me,
"Am I the last one that you wanted to see?
You know I thought I would try to cash in on this scene."
The time is now to play the song for carpetbaggers come and gone
So say what you feel but not what you mean take what you want take what you need and get the fuck out of this town

When you carpetbag you do it all for love
Find that special someone or someplace in place of
In place of anyone or thing you thought you left behind
Left behind so long ago if only in your mind

You gotta get the fuck out of this town

Now I'm not even half drunk and it's half-past three
Time to take the N train back to Queens
You gotta get the fuck out of this town

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Radio Reception Area

download .mp3 (4:14)
I have a car and I'm still half drunk
And that's a bad combination
It's a bad combination but not for the usual reasons

Eleven-thirty on a Saturday night
And I'm driving three hours just to see you
I'm driving three hours but not for the usual reasons

I just live outside my favorite radio station's reception area

Exit thirteen on the turnpike just makes me smile
And the Outerbridge Crossing just makes me smile
It makes me smile but not for the usual reasons

I thought for sure that I fucked it up when
I told you I was in love again

I just live outside my favorite radio station's reception area

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