"Apologizing For Offending" Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry

What is it with the old "I'm sorry if you were offended" line? Here are several lately.

Hank Williams, Jr. kind of exemplifies it:

I have always been very passionate about Politics and Sports and this time it got the Best or Worst of me. The thought of the Leaders of both Parties Jukin and High Fiven on a Golf course, while so many Families are Struggling to get by simply made me Boil over and make a Dumb statement and I am very Sorry if it Offended anyone.

That's just one of thousands of hits if you Google "apologize for offending."

Here's another example following blowback from the worst ad campaign of the holiday season:

A Manhattan-based liquor manufacturer kicked off the holidays on a sour note with a billboard along the West Side Highway that struck some as anti-Semitic and got the attention of Anti-Defamation League.

The Wódka brand vodka ad featured two dogs, a Chihuahua dressed in a Santa Claus hat and an Afghan hound in a yarmulke, with a message that read: "Christmas Quality. Hanukkah Pricing."

The company, based in the Flatiron District, yanked its billboard overlooking the busy road by 4 p.m., less than 24 hours after erecting it.

. . .

Representatives from Wódka did not immediately return calls for comment, but did tweet an apology close to the time the billboard was removed.

"Although rarely serious, we apologize to anyone we may have offended through our holiday campaign and are removing our billboard immediately."

And then there's the curious case of the Minnesota high school where a pep rally made a national audience cringe:

Blindfolded athletes were tricked into kissing their own parents at a pep rally prank, and now the Minnesota high school's principal is saying sorry.

Responding to several complaints after a video of the 'incest prank' video went viral on YouTube, Rosemount High School Principal John Wollersheim released a statement:

"This activity was intended to be fun, but some found it offensive," he wrote. "We apologize to anyone who was offended by this activity."

Here's a Straight Dope thread about the issue.

Ultimately, isn't it better just to own up to what you say or do? Hank Williams, Jr. should have said something along the lines of, "I am sorry that an offensive Hitler comparison got me taken off of the Monday Night Football opening." Wódka should have said something along the lines of, "We are sorry that the ADL is upset, but ultimately our attention-grabbing billboard served its purpose, which was to familiarize customers with the brand. As for the Minnesota high school, I think a simple "sorry" would have sufficed, because kissing your mother like that is perverted, and makes America feel icky.

What Follows Will Be A Running List Of Similar Non-Apologizing-For-Offending Scenarios

12/23/11: The British book chain Waterstones apologizes "for offense caused" after employees use Mein Kampf in perfect-present-for-Christmas display.