Something John Yoo Might Have Approved For Ghost Detainees Leads To Rare Dodgers Win

No kidding, I heard a guy tell me this happened to him once and it's bugged me ever since:

Matt Holliday's maddening season of maladies continued Monday night with the strangest one yet. Holliday had to be removed from the Cardinals' loss to the Dodgers after a moth flew into his right ear.

With two outs in the eighth inning, Holliday had to be tended to by the team's athletic training staff. He walked off the field and into the clubhouse, where medical personnel attempted to remove the moth from his ear.

According to a team spokesman, the first tactic was to take Holliday into a dark room, in hopes the moth would seek light and fly out. However, the insect had gone in headfirst and was unable to turn around. Thus, tweezers had to be used to remove it.

The guy who recounted his experience with having a moth fly into his ear said that the noise was deafening — basically, it's flapping it's wings and making bug noises directly in your eardrum. The experience made him insane until he finally went to a hospital, where a professional was finally able to remove the insect.

Seriously, ever since then I've worn my hair over my ears — technical term: unkempt — in order to minimize the threat of bugs flying into my ears.

You Try To Scale A 30-Foot Oak With Testicles The Size Of Your Head

The backyard at Kawama sits underneath an oak branch canopy from a tree next door. The thing, I was told, is about 30 years old. Today it encroaches the airspace of four or five yards on our block.

You know who loves a good oak? That's right, a squirrel. Squirrels in the tree seem to use our yard as a sort of acorn pantry/acorn shell depository, either chewing off clusters and letting them fall to the ground or eating them at the source and spilling the shells below. They seem to like to do it when we have guests. It's not cute, and in fact it's kind of annoying, but at least the squirrels haven't dug up any of our plants — no need with so many acorns above, I suppose.

I don't know that I've ever had the opportunity to view a squirrel from below, but I was in the yard the other day and noticing acorns falling around me, and I looked up to see this:

Holy Moly those are huge balls. I had no idea squirrel balls were so large. Like I said, who ever sees a squirrel from below? Pound for pound, a squirrel must have more ball than most creatures. Sure, they're no bush cricket, but they are large. Then again, perhaps that's not that usual for a rodent, and of course squirrels are just rats with better PR so . . .