An Out-And-Out Nut Spiking
September 15, 2014
Forgive me, but I just don't think holes-in-one are that interesting.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 15, 2014
It's true. Sometimes shots on par 3 holes happen to go in on the first shot. Sure, it takes skill to hit a golf ball and have it land on the green, but it seems totally haphazard when it also happens to roll into the cup. They're just not that interesting. I feel like I've said something similar in the past about half-court shots in basketball.
September 16, 2014
Ahmad Bradshaw did something that I'll never be able to fully appreciate: spiking the football and it rebounding right into your nuts.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 16, 2014
It's this:
Darren Sproles' 23.80 points are sitting comfortably on my bench, just behind Pierre Thomas' 3.20 points. FML.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 16, 2014
So of course we benched Thomas and started Sproles this week: Thomas had 11.10 points and Sproles had 3.00. Christ.
Still trying to figure out why my kid's dirty diaper smells like weed.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 16, 2014
The neighbors seem to smoke a lot of weed, so I smell that smell quite a bit. I could have been hallucinating. It could have been something he ate. I'm just hoping it's not secondhand.
September 17, 2014
Dear Dishwasher: Tonight your priority is the container that held leftover shrimp from a week and a half ago. Love, Me.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 18, 2014
Postscript: Dishwasher listened.
September 18, 2014
A deadly combination of haughty and vacuous.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 18, 2014
I can't remember who this was about but I wouldn't be surprised if it was the mayor.
"Asked to name the governor’s favorite team, Mr. Wing, the campaign spokesman, said Mr. Cuomo favored the Bills, the Jets and the Giants."
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 18, 2014
That was from this article in the Times about Cuomo's supporters going after Astorino about him liking the Dolphins and not a New York team — any team, or in the governor's case, all of them. The problem with Cuomo is that everything he does seems calculated to run for president — do you get the sense he's passionate about anything at all? Even De Blasio at least is geeked about tall buildings.
After lying wide-eyed for several moments, staring at the ceiling, I came to believe that Philip Rivers might be better than Drew Brees.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 18, 2014
Combining passages from Donna Tartt's The Goldfinch with fantasy football roster moves: another owner offered Rivers for wide receiver Michael Floyd after seeing that we were saddled with an injured RGIII. He had Drew Brees already; I think Rivers had a better game than Brees last weekend (not this one).
"Philip Rivers." I felt a bit dizzy. Seeing the name in black and white gave me a strange thrill, as of unseen cards falling into place.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 18, 2014
Again, The Goldfinch: after the trade went through.
A close-knit community of long-time Carroll Gardens residents who warmly greet you from their 19th century garden brownstones.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 19, 2014
It's a neighborhood amenity at 360 Smith, alongside specialty food stores, classic speakeasies and trendy eateries, eclectic boutiques, historic venues and convenient access to public transportation, schools, playgrounds, the waterfront, downtown Brooklyn, and Manhattan.
And . . . I just sat there waiting to see how a video game commercial ends.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 19, 2014
The spot was atmospheric and riveting. I can't remember what the game was.
Here's to the oversized Rasta banana remaining an evergreen street fair prize, hopefully into eternity (8/25/13): http://t.co/c9WeItCuid
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 19, 2014
What I said.
I want to get to the bottom of these infernal Mio ads that make me want to burn down city blocks. Avoid related: http://t.co/bcqtda8IPS
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 19, 2014
They disappeared for a while and now they're back, and that's a shame.
September 19, 2014
We were heading into the clumsy territory of the Tampa Bay Bucs, stretched-out silences, wrong smiles, the place where words didn't work.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 19, 2014
More Goldfinch . . .
Some day, hopefully not too soon, he will realize how quietly devastating "Can you play solitaire with me?" sounds.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 19, 2014
This actually makes sense in context, and it took me quite a while to perceive the irony of it.
Not just wrong, dangerously wrong.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 20, 2014
This stuff is starting to sound a little too hyperbolic. Contrarian impulse, activate; form of, throwing away vote to third party.
September 20, 2014
"Contains numerous errors, inaccuracies, false assumptions and, perhaps, misunderstandings" . . . and substantively true?
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 20, 2014
The Baltimore Ravens' response to ESPN's big story that the team knew the full extent of the Ray Rice casino beating almost immediately, which is counter to what nearly everyone in any position of power has been saying since the whole thing began. I vaguely remember in the past someone highlighting how weaselly this type of statement was, but I couldn't immediately Google it. Basically, an "error" or "inaccuracy" could be something as unimportant as saying a shirt is red when it is actually maroon. And I don't even know what "false assumptions" and "perhaps, misunderstandings" would even begin to matter . . .
Now if we just painted an areola on there, you'd be in business.
— Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) September 20, 2014
Mr. Baby, Too sucking on my elbow in bed that morning. Note: we do not condone or endorse in any way "co-sleeping."